In the Absence of Tomoyo
by CLAMPraven
Summary: Tomoyo-chan disappears, and everyone suddenly realized how important she was. Features lots of pairings and topics. R/r, people!
1. Where are you, Daidouji?

**In the absence of Tomoyo **by CLAMPraven

My second fic., and I really hope this can turn out right. This **is **my second fic, after all, and I think I'm a little more experienced now than before.

For starters, I am never writing and submitting fanfiction on Word again, 'cause, quite frankly, it just...isn't.

Secondly, this fic, unlike my last one, is not going to be philosophical and spineless, but bold and beautiful in its plot. At least, that's what I'm aiming for. But who knows? Maybe I am the worst writer on the planet (okay, maybe I shouldn't go _there..._). But in any case, this one's going to be better than before. I know, I know...there are thousands of CCS fanfics out there, and I haven't even read ten as of yet from this web site, so don't sue me if this fic sounds like someone else's...OK?

So, in any case, you're probably tired of my ranting and wondering what this fic is about, huh? Well, I can't ruin it for you, but basically, it's about how Tomoyo had seemingly disappeared, and how everyone starts realizing just how much she really means to them and how much they want her back. At first, it doesn't sound like that, but later the subject becomes the main focus of the story. Just to be sure, there are a lot of other issues involved here, like Yue's love for Sakura and S+S's relationship growth. There's a surprise ending, if you can call it that. The story keeps switching POVs, but you'll probably realize who it is...and if you don't, I'll just tell you later.

Enjoy the story! And remember people, FEEDBACK!!! 

* * *

The moonlight shone bright, and the dark, still night reflected in the water, clear and radiant. The fountain spewed specks of innocence underneath the stars, underneath the passionate gaze of the universe. I watched this world through eagle eyes, wielding the powers of this shadowed world of mine. The shallow souls of daylight cannot see with the wisdom that I live, the timeless knowledge that I conceal with silver wings, this shadowed oasis of mine.

While many have power, few have dreams that glow like the moon. I certainly don't. I've been too obsessed with the darkness...I've ventured into silence to learn, and I have given up the light of the moon, forgotten about dreaming. Sometimes I wonder if I could...but I have been a nocturnal watcher for as long as I can remember. 

If I wasn't so vigilant, though...

I wouldn't be able to protect her...

Kinomoto Sakura. The mistress of the Clow Cards, the sacred soldiers of this world.

Hoisting myself from the tree, I flew to her window, spotting Keroberos. Crouched near the table, the furry companion slept comfortably, wearing Sakura's key around his tiny neck. Such a dedicated little guardian, I smirked despite myself, falling asleep when you should be keeping guard for the Clow book, day or night. Oh well...no matter. This is why Clow Reed created both of us, I thought. 

With careful watch, I spotted Sakura. The young girl was lying still, the occasional heartbeat stirring her delicate body. Being a creature of the night, I could easily sense her soft breathing, soothing me and, I'm sure, the rest of the world. 

She was such a pretty girl...Yukito, my human host...he was always gentle with her, caring for her whenever possible. I could always sense that, in his heart, he loved her as much as a father would. There was never any limit to his affection...and even though I'm not fully sure whether he and I are one, I know I care for Sakura too. 

Even though I don't always show it, even though I intimidate her sometimes (I realize that as fully as she does, this whole "scary Yue" business...), I do mean to love her. Sakura...does reach out, but she does suffer in silence more than most people see. I can see through her, though, and I do wish that she would confide in me more...

I should really tell her all this in the morning. 

"Goodnight, Sakura...chan." I flew off into the misty night.

Wait...

I stared at the city below my wings. What just hit me?

Something's missing...

Someone...

...?!

-

I stared through the thin, fragile pink curtains of her bedroom, through the shadows cast by her furniture, careful to stay a distance away as I did so. My glare narrowed into a thin, golden line as the full implication of the sight hit me.

I knew it. She's gone. That's what I felt. 

Flying out of the trees planted in the Daidouji residence, I scanned the skies, then down at the city again. The artificial lights hurt my eyes, and I was forced to look away. I couldn't feel her presence anywhere in Tokyo, beyond the boundaries even. I didn't sense any other magic, just my own anxiety. 

Where are you, Daidouji?

Where are you?

---

I opened my eyes to the ringing of the three alarm clocks on my table. Stop...RINGING!!

With haste, I collected them from underneath the bedsheet and gasped.

"HOE!!!!" "AAAAAHRG!!!"

First the chicken clock, then the bunny clock...pretty soon all the screaming stopped...except for my own.

What? I can't help it...I shouldn't have stayed up late with Touya watching that movie...that ought to give me something to whack myself over the head with. Now I'm late again!!!

I flung away the colorful bedsheet with haste.

"UWAAAAAAHRG!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUE?!?"

The pale, extensively-robed figure sat on the edge of my bed in absolute silence and calmness, while I screeched for cover. It was a dumb thing to do, I realized a few seconds later as I huddled underneath my 'shelter' in hiding. Pretty soon, the covers were (more gently this time) removed and put aside.

I stared at Yue again. His long, silky hair was in perfect shine, his skin fair and his eyes that cold, icy hue as always. His wings were silver and milky, not a single feather out of place. His robes...spotless. He was like that, and I had gotten used to his presence after a while, but as if I didn't have enough things to delay me this morning...!

Now he was folding my bedsheet. He could be such a neat freak...

"What's going on, Yue?" I asked, trying to hide my timid side. 

Now that I was the official card mistress, I had to behave like one. Despite my fear in ghosts and apparitions, regardless of my weaknesses in school and as a cheerleader, Yue watched over me and expected me to be restraint, organized, and as neat as he was. Those were high demands to follow, and I was only 11 now. When I become a young woman, who knows what he'll think about me...I don't look to the future much, only when I need to, with the help of the Sakura Cards. Yue can be so strict and demanding of me. He didn't have to say it...in fact, he hardly ever does. But one look into those eyes, and you know that he's the kind of guardian who believes perfection can be achieved.

His beliefs are driving me mental these days. School is harder and I can hardly keep up with his expectations and my dad's; sometimes I can't decide which one's more important. I wanted to be a good kid, of course, but when it came to saving the world from evil magic and whatnot...it's a lot of pressure.

Yue stared at me again. Those piercing blue eyes are really too much...

"Your friend, Daidouji..." He started, then paused.

I was wide awake now. "Tomoyo? What about her?"

The night guardian seemed edgy, almost..._nervous_. This is a rare occasion, I thought. Yue...nervous? 

The world must be doomed and nobody told me!

"Daidouji..." He continued hesitantly. "Did she...inform you of a trip...a visit to relatives outside Tomoeda or such? A trip that was going to take place around this time?"

This was getting strange. "No..." I answered, then bounded back. "Why, Yue?"

It was then that he stared me in the eye. I felt transparent, yet locked on. I couldn't look away. "Why are you asking me this, Yue?" I repeated.

The guardian sighed. "She wasn't in her house, wasn't even in Tomoeda at all..."

I felt his tension rising.

"Perhaps not even in the whole of Japan...I can't be sure there is no magic involved...I can't really be sure of anything. I can't feel her presence anymore, Sakura...she's...gone..."

* * *

Well, that's the first chapter of it all...I'll be done with the rest soon enough. This is around Christmas time; hold your horses. Check back once in a while and I'll surprise you. It doesn't sound like much now, but it will get to the climax...just breath. Patience...patience...

Meanwhile...

**Need I repeat myself?! R/R!!! I BEG YOU!!!!**


	2. We don't deserve you, we really don't

**In the Absence of Tomoyo, Chapter 2 **by CLAMPraven

Well, this is the second chapter! Remember what I said about feedback? Yeah...

In any case, did I mention that CCS doesn't belong to me before? As if I need to put up a disclaimer anyhow...I don't own them, I don't want to...except for Syaoran, maybe...and Yue's so awesome, too...um...never mind.

Oh, and also, about the last chapter...first part was Yue's POV, then Sakura's. It's kinda weird, isn't it? I have to warn you...these first two chapters really don't talk about Tomoyo much...except the flashbacks...so it does sound a little redundant at times.

So anyway, this is Chapter 2...enjoy!

* * *

Sitting on the desk, I stared nonchalantly at a VERY frantic Sakura getting ready for school in the bright and early morning. And Yue here, as well...what a surprise. _Right..._

I rubbed my eyes, and shook my head disapprovingly. This was really too much...

Keroberos, when are you going to teach her how to wake up? I thought. She's been late for the past week now because of those movies...and probably because of her ever-predicting dreaming. Heck, she might have mastered the cards, won over Li Syaoran's heart, and tried out every crazy costume in the history of the world, but she's still as tardy as before. Enough to make any guardian nervous. 

"KERO!!! Where'd my watch go?!"

"You're wearing it."

"Oh, yeah!...well, bye, guys! Have fun!"

"Uh..huh..." I added for no reason in particular. I have my reasons for thinking she's clumsy, just not so forgetful. It's getting worse and worse everytime I think about it. Ugh...

Snatching her backpack from the floor, the young card holder rushed out the door, but not before fixing Yue with a awkward, confused, solemn stare. The white angelic figure looked back, almost monotonously, but with a shrug in his eyes' emptiness. 

I raised an eyebrow as soon as Sakura headed out. Must be something they talked about.

Yue doesn't usually...talk. He communicates with his own weird yet clarified gestures and glares. Any idiot could tell what he's thinking. But few can tell what he feels. We were created together by Clow Reed...we know each other better than anyone could. He knows my craving for food, my anger levels, my dedication to my duties...it seems like no matter how casual and perky I act, he can see through it.

And I also know him...that twisting darkness in his heart, the confusion he sees, his own recklessness...and his love for Sakura.

We've talked about it a few times in private. It's amazing just how much this guy pours out when he's secluded. When we talk alone, we'd tell each other everything. He'd tell me his passion for the moon, and I'd tell him my passion for Neapolitan ice cream. It was all fine and easy until we got serious, whether it be about the cards, or just personal things. I've known his fondness of Sakura as a little daughter for quite a while now. I could see it in the way he looks at her, the way he talks to her...it seemed so obvious now...it all fitted so well...

It's hard to think me and Yue are best friends...we're so opposite. But hey...Sakura and Syaoran got along fine after a while...I guess it's the same with us. 

And now that I have the topic of our friendship on hold, it was a good time to question.

"So..." I fumbled, "what was that about?"

I felt the rays of his glare burning me again. It's a nasty feeling. "Her friend...Tomoyo...disappeared."

I felt my head jerk up. "Say WHAT?! Tomoyo disappeared?" I nearly snapped my neck - and a few brain cells. That's what happens when you don't pay full attention, Kero, I muttered inside my head; you clumsy little oaf... "What do you mean by that, Yue?"

-

"Late AGAIN!" Chiharu giggled. "You should've seen the look on Yotoka-sensei's face! Too bad...you were too busy face-vaulting. When are you going to learn, Sakura?"

The girls were gathered on the bench at gym class, and the topic of discussion was, of course, Sakura's newest upset. I guess I laughed at her a bit, too...how could anyone keep doing this with a clean conscience? At least, that's what it seemed like to us...Sakura's shrugging it off as much as she could, but we were just like three little monkeys on her back.

"Or three hundred little lice..." I mused quietly.

"Did you say something, Rika?" Asked Naoko, shifting her huge round spectacles. 

On the other hand, Chiharu was still holding her sides and didn't seem to notice. "Oh, it's nothing," I casually dismissed it with a wave of my hand. Not a good time to talk about lice... I changed the subject quickly. "Have you guys seen Tomoyo today? They said she was absent, but she never told us she was going to be gone. I tried calling her, but she isn't home either..."

"Nope, haven't seen her..." Chiharu finally squeaked out, followed by another (lighter) stream of guffaws.

It barely sounded like she cared, I thought uneasily.

Naoko suddenly stood up. "Chiharu, it's our turn! Come on!" The two girls headed off towards the vaulting horse, leaving me and Sakura by ourselves. It was then that I noticed Sakura looking uncomfortable.

I placed a hand on her shoulder carefully. "Hey...what's wrong?"

She turned to me with those glassy, beautiful green eyes. I've always loved Sakura's eyes...they weren't like Naoko's soft auburn, or Chiharu's bright chestnut, or Meilin's sharp scarlet...her eyes were peaceful and kind. 

Mine are just plain dull...

Her feet shuffled, and her lips tightened. "So Tomoyo wasn't at home?" She finally asked. "She wasn't planning on a big vacation or outing outside the city, was she?" Her tone was cracked and unsure. She didn't look like herself.

I scratched my head. I felt a bit stupid at the moment...I wasn't a very close friend of Tomoyo, so I didn't know her all that well. Not as well as Sakura, anyway. And here she was, asking me whether I had heard her say this. I haven't paid close attention to Tomoyo-chan talking as much these days. The truth is, I haven't ever paid _that_ much attention to her... 

Should I have been? Should I be more attentive to people?

My eyes narrowed. When was the last time I heard her talk? Come on! Arg...think!

_You saw her, Rika! At the park, remember? Silly baka!_

Oh, yeah...

_"So you came, Rika-chan! I knew you would. I...needed to talk to you" _

_The leaves rustled above her head, the cherry blossom petals scattering in the wind...the petals caressed her hair gently in the breeze. She was so very pretty._

_"I'm sorry I argued with you at lunchtime..."_

_"Huh?" I snapped out of my trance._

_"You remember! That last school project! You were so mad at me, because I had another idea...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disagree with you..."_

_I sighed. "Tomoyo, you weren't arguing...you never argue. You had a good idea, and I should've listened to you."_

_"But I lost my temper, even though I didn't show it. I can't seem to get it out of my head. So...here." She slipped a small square package into my hands, and ran down the lane. "Bye!"_

_"Bye..." I watched her go. Poor Tomoyo, worrying herself over these things. She can be so nice, and she's always amiable, but she takes these things too seriously, lets them get to her. I wish she wasn't so sympathetic sometimes, but that's what makes her such a good friend..._

"Rika? Rika!" My eyes opened, awakening from the memory. I saw Sakura shaking my arm. "It's your turn, Rika," and she pointed to the vaulting horse. Everyone was waiting for me.

Embarrassed, I ran through the class to the equipment, but not before glancing back to Sakura. "I'll check Tomoyo's house today, okay?" 

Her eyes seemed to brighten, and I lunged at the vaulting horse. Flipping over with practiced ease, I greeted the applause with a smile. Chiharu, was clapping, and Naoko too...and even Sakura-chan on the bench behind them. 

My gym bag was lying neatly nearby. Fetching it, I suddenly had the urge to reach into its pocket...

Inside was the cream-colored little box with the golden ribbon that Tomoyo had given me that bright, sunny day. I slowly opened the package, careful as not to damage the box. 

In the package was a glass-crafted ring, glowing starlight as it reflected the sun. On it, was my name engraved in an elegant font, the font that Tomoyo herself often used when typing assignments. 'Rika,' it said.

I slipped it on, and held my hand close to my heart. "You're such a good friend, Tomoyo...we don't deserve you. We really don't."

* * *

So, what 'd you think? Well (of **course**), the first POV was Kero's, followed by Rika's. Tell me what you think, and maybe, just _maybe_, I'll write another chapter.

You know I'm joking, right? Darn right I'll post another chapter! What else is there to do?


	3. Blood on the windowsill

**In the Absence of Tomoyo, Part 3 **By CLAMPraven

Well, I'm back again! You've been expecting me? No? Oh, well, who cares...I'll continue anyway, see if this amounts to anything, anything at all...(sighs) (regains typing)

Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Was the last chapter a pain? Yeah, I kinda figured that. But I learn from my mistakes. Hey, I happen to like Rika! I wanted to give her a POV, so there!

(And as for the icing on the cake, I happen to love Tomoyo-chan! I wanted to write her a FIC, so there!)

Hey...what can you do but read it?

And you know I'm stingy about feedback already, so, as always...well...you know what to do...

* * *

I couldn't help but kick at the little pebbles on the dirt road, now wet with rainwater. I felt frustrated somehow, and it wasn't the pattering that bothered me. 

Who knows? Chances are, Tomoyo-chan's just on an outing, and I'm worried for nothing. 

I watched my dancing reflection in the water, as the rain poured down upon it, constantly making the image splatter and fade. Holding my soaked umbrella over my head, I couldn't help but sigh.

It sure felt strange, not sensing her gentle presence and not knowing why. I'm just as confused as Yue was about the whole situation. Knowing that it troubled _him _was enough to make anyone loose their nerve. He even went through the trouble of telling me in person. It's a neat privilege, if you know how to handle it....but then, there's the bad news that he carried. 

He can be so attentive. I mean, Kero can be on guard, too...but hey, who's the one munching on cookies and cake while playing my game systems? Certainly not Yue! He's been around, and he finds out information from sources we didn't even know we had. He's a good guardian who didn't need thanks, just trust, which I supplied, and a whole whack of energy, which I also supplied. And when he tells me these things, who am I to tell him I'm wrong? 

I stared at the sky...shaking my head, I proceeded to run home.

But Tomoyo's house was so much nearer...and I really wanted to see what was wrong, to see if she's okay...just to make sure, so it saves my sanity...

_"Hey...what's wrong?" she asked me._

_I could feel her attentiveness on me, and I couldn't help but stare at her pitifully. Certainly I could confide in her..._

"Rika!" I gasped, suddenly remembering gym class and the sympathy-filled eyes that stared my way...

The voice that told me she would be checking up on Tomoyo today...Rika. She was such a good friend...I didn't even thank her! She offered to check on Tomoyo...for me...

But...

Rika didn't bring an umbrella today.

-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" 

The shrill scream echoed through my lungs, flew in the air, shattering the rain, breaking my tears...

My hands were covered with it...the red, foreign liquid...one run of my delicate fingers through the mass of crimson on the windowsill was enough to stain my hands bitterly...

I didn't even let the rain wash it off before I buried my face in it. I could feel hot tears of anguish mixing with the cold raindrops on my skin. The salty mixture dripped through my fingers, spilled onto the grass. I could feel the rain beating down on me, on my knees and on my uniform...the mud was building up in my sitting, but I couldn't think, only felt...

I gasped, sobbed into my hands some more. That's it Rika...let it all pour out of you, because there's blood on Tomoyo's windowsill and something must've happened there...cry, because the door of the house won't open and you're kneeling on the soaked grass and no one can help you and Tomoyo is...

Tomoyo is...!!

"Rika? Rika, what happened? Rika?" An urgent voice loomed above my crouching form.

Sakura...I rose up slowly with her helping hand.

Sakura stared at my clothes, then at my face doused in red. Her green eyes reflected her fright. I couldn't stop it! I wanted to scream, but all that came were weak murmurs. Finally, she saw the puddles of blood on the windowsill.

Her eyes were fixated...first on the stains, then at me again. "N-no...way..." she stuttered, shaking her head as if she could change it. "That...that isn't...isn't what I think...Rika..." Her expression was a pleading one.

I wrapped my arms around her in one smooth motion, and held on tightly. I could feel her painful sobbing...

Oh, Sakura...don't you realize it? You're all I can hang on now...

At times of trouble, we all need to confide in someone...anyone... 

So please...don't go...you're the only friend that matters now...

The rain poured down.

"Oh, Sakura..." I grimaced, and cried into her sleeve, violently shaking, but still clutching on. "What's going on, Sakura?! Why did it have to be Tomoyo? Why did it have to be like this...?!"

-

Thunder escaped from the clouds. I winced, shifting my glasses. We were all inside Sakura's house...Chiharu, Yamazaki, Syaoran, and me...

Rika was still crying from the incident...Sakura told us about it. It turned out that she found something at the Daidouji residence, she wouldn't say what. But we dare not ask. It seems to upset Rika so much and even more so with Sakura. I guess if you found something that convinced you your best friend was in trouble, you would want to be secluded. At least, that's what we were told...that something must've happened to Tomoyo.

Chiharu brought Yamazaki along on the way here, and he's doing a good job comforting Rika. Occasionally, he'd stare at the door worriedly and sigh. Sakura and Syaoran went into the living room to discuss privately about the matter...they'd left us alone minutes before. One look at Yamazaki's eyes, and you'd think it's been hours. 

Now he's staring again. He can be so considerate and sympathetic at times least expected, I thought. At the same time, I began to wonder...

Sakura's plushy toy was sitting on my lap. It's the little teddy with the furry tail and wings that I see sitting on her table everyday. I had picked it up when I came here...I guess a stuffed animal can really grow on you. It's really too cute, actually, and personally, I think it helps me think happier thoughts. Its sunny little face _can _make you smile.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around; it was Chiharu.

"Do you think I should go check on them?" She asked, and pointed to the door, with a look of wonder on her face. "It's really curious, don't you think?"

"Leave them alone!"

"Huh?" We both looked for the source of the warning. It was Yamazaki, still stroking Rika's tangled hair, with a look of absolute seriousness on his face. 

"...Yamazaki?" Chiharu couldn't believe it, and neither could I. He sounded so different!

"Leave them alone," he glared at us, letting the full impact of his tone sink in. "There's something weird about what happened to Rika and Sakura today...don't you think it's the worst thing we can do, to barge in on them now? Give them their space...if they don't talk, they don't have to..." He let his gaze fall to Rika, who seemed to be dozing off. 

"I'd hate to think what you've gone through..." He shook his head. "It's just so wrong..."

I looked out the window. Lightning just broke again, shattering the sky into a million pieces with its fantastic light. "He's right...let's leave the Tomoyo discussion alone. For now."

Thunder bashed the window, and we fell silent.

* * *

Now the interesting stuff starts happening...hehehe...

Yep...

Still waiting....

Nah...who are you kidding? I won't be done with the next chapter until a few days from now, but make sure you stay tuned to this!

(I'm getting cheesier everyday. Ho hum.)


	4. A friend of a lover of mine

**In the Absence of Tomoyo, Chapter 4 **by CLAMPraven

Well, I did it...I've surprised myself by how consistent this fic has become! I write about one chapter every day, and it never fails me! I think it's because I still want more support...greedy little CLAMPraven, you must think...

But hey...who wants their fic to be ignored on this site, anyway? I've come to make a name for myself, and that's exactly what I'm going to do! Not that everyone else has little to no potential...that's not what I meant. You guys are great too...I've read a lot of the fics on this site...some of them have surprised me quite a bit! 

Just to let you know, I do find time to compare my fic to other people's. Currently, I have only 2, but I'll write more soon. I won't let anyone down. Just so you know what's up, I'm planning for a Rayearth fic soon (now I guess I'll just have to think about where I'm going to get the ideas for _that..._).

The last fic had POVs from Sakura, Rika, and Naoko. I really have to start focusing on the more important characters, but really...Sakura's friends are just too cute! But don't worry. This time, we're really getting serious about this whole Tomoyo loss business.

And now, for the quote of the day: thou shalt give CLAMPraven reviews, reviews I say!!

* * *

The dim light of the living room reflected off Sakura's features, shaken with tension. Except for that, the room was a dark one, broken up by flashes of the occasional lightning; I couldn't help but stare at her solemn face. 

She's been like this since the discovery of the blood on Tomoyo's windowsill, I realized in the gloom. Sakura...she's miserable. 

I'd been surprised when she called me up, told me about the grotesque find. I arrived as fast as I could...the sight that greeted me was terrible.

Rika's hands and face were etched with the dark stains of the red liquid...she was standing above the sink, scrubbing furiously, and crying at the same time. I could hear her whispers... "Why...Tomoyo...Tomoyo...", she had said, and the tears would fall, and she'd scour her face some more, rubbing off the redness.

When she saw me, she was in a state of panic, then calmer as she recognized me. "Syaoran..." she said..."Sakura...she called you, didn't she? That's...that's good..." She had turned away, unable to face me...

Of course, this was all happening when I had come.

One by one, our friends arrived. First Chiharu, then Yamazaki. By the time Naoko finally reached the Kinomoto residence, Rika had already been ushered upstairs, and the rain had turned into a thunderstorm.

Now, as I stared into Sakura's eyes, remembering the scarcity of my belief back then, my mind was still a big question mark. Sakura didn't tell the others...that was good. They would've freaked, and turned to the police. But Sakura was too cautious...she couldn't have that happening while she still couldn't determine whether it was magic's doing, in which case she would be the only one suited for the job. 

I have reason to believe that she called me here for help, to see if I could pinpoint Tomoyo's location. I couldn't...I think she knew that at heart. My magic is just not strong enough for that. Even Sakura and Yue couldn't sense it. Keroberos has too much on his hands to try...mainly because he was in the hands of others. Especially Naoko at the moment, who simply told me it was comforting to hold him. Oh, if she only knew...

The truth is, Sakura must have had me here...for moral support. I've helped her through times like this in the past...it's only reasonable that she relies on me now. 

I can still remember the days when she was still a novice Card Captor. She used to go scrambling after her cards, usually with little or no strategy involved. I caught my cards with professional ease. The only thing was I didn't have the strength of heart to hang on to them. Sakura, on the other hand, cared for the cards and cared for her friends...that was how she succeeded, how she surpassed me. In the end, I guess I was more happy for her than anything. During the struggle to change the Clow cards into Sakura cards, her faith in me increased, to the point where she'd put her life in my hands.

Have I confessed my feelings for her? Yes...mildly at first, but she grew on me, and I couldn't help falling for her. 

How did I confess? With help...from a friend of a lover of mine, you could say.

Tomoyo Daidouji.

This is why I was so urgent to come. Tomoyo was in danger. 

She was more than just a mutual friend...she's become an angel in her own right to me. Without her consideration and her confidence in my love for Sakura, where would I be?

"Nowhere..."

"Huh?" My little spell was broken with the voice. It was Sakura. 

Our eyes met. "What...?" I asked in disbelief.

"We'd be nowhere without Tomoyo..." She said calmly. It was then that I realized that our hands were locked.

So that's why... "You read my mind...with your magic..."

I stared into her emerald eyes, so serene and sad in all its wisdom. She looked like a real card mistress...I thought. She looked so official, so mild...so much older! I mused.

The dim lights were shaken by the thunder. For a while, I didn't even seem to hear it. Then the sound thrust itself into my head, and I winced.

Sakura turned away, got off the stool of the kitchen table, letting go of my hand in the process. She walked towards the window. Her strong, willful hands, so much unlike Rika's vulnerable ones, flung away the curtains, revealing the darkened night sky.

"Tomoyo was the one who kept us together..." she said softly, almost silently. "She had more confidence in the two of us than the world could've given. She was the one who wouldn't deny the truth, who always remained happy for us..."

Lightning rumbled against the clouds. It lit up her silhouette, brightened her form. She gazed back at me.

"How many times, Syaoran? How many times has Tomoyo-chan been here for us? How many hours did she spend on caring for our group? How many times did she sow us back together when we've fallen apart? When has she ever let us down, not given us the faith to continue when we thought our missions were impossible? Has she ever doubted happiness, Syaoran?"

Her stare concentrated on the shifting dark clouds again. The light shone on her auburn hair, while shadows cast upon her feet.

"I recall many great things about her. She used to brush my tears away when I've been hurt. When I was sad, when I was grieving over unaccountable losses, she stood up tall and gave me the strength to move on. Tomoyo was so much more than having bodyguards and limos, making fancy costumes...though it does bring out her dedication to me. She's the best friend anyone could ask for, and I'd never question her twice. 

"She never wanted to be fussed over, really. She cares so much about other people. I still remember that one day back in 3rd grade...Chiharu got the chicken pox. She stayed home for a week...all that week, however, Tomoyo took the time to see her, to stay with her at least one hour after school just so she could get well. When Naoko broke her glasses, Tomoyo replaced them...when Yamazaki lost his coat, Tomoyo went on a hunt for it all throughout the school...I even saw Rika wearing a ring today...it was crafted glass, and she said it was a gift from Tomoyo. 

"Wealth didn't matter to Tomoyo-chan...she would never brag about it. She's not like that. She always used her wealth to help others when it was possible. She didn't even care...when people would take her for granted...

I saw...no, I _felt_ her tears falling. "Did we take her for granted, Syaoran? All those days of videotaping my card captures, all those times she stood up for me...for us...did we ever do anything in return...? Why didn't we thank her when we had the chance? Now...she's...she's..." 

Sakura crumbled to the floor at the sound of thunder bashing against the glass. 

I felt myself move in accordance, past the living room table, past the chairs...soon, I was kneeling beside her as she wept.

I put my arms around her, giving her what warmth I had. She felt so small...so cold...

I shushed her and held her closer to me...I felt her tears melting on my shirt as I caressed her hair. I had to be there for her. Tomoyo was gone, and we didn't know where. But with her best friend gone, Sakura must feel like nothing. 

I have to be there for her. I must fill Tomoyo's place...temporarily, until she returns...she'll return. She has to. Meanwhile, I just hope I could do as well as she did, even though the darkness is overwhelming. There was only one Tomoyo, and no one can really fill her shoes, take her place, especially in Sakura's heart. 

"We never took her for granted," I murmured softly, almost as if convincing myself that it was true. Sakura's sobs began to die down, and I continued. 

"We couldn't have took her for granted. You..._we_ were her best friends, Sakura...how could you say that? Tomoyo was the greatest...we didn't ever doubt that. We loved her for what she did for us...for all the trouble she ever went through...and besides..."

I paused.

"We'll find her. I guarantee it."

It felt like time stood still when I said that. 

Was it even the right thing to say?

* * *

Well, that's the 4th chapter, folks! Tune in next time!

(Don't worry...it's not going to get mushier than this...)

(I hope.)


	5. Come back home, Meilin...to Tomoeda

**In the Absence of Tomoyo, Part 5 **by CLAMPraven

I finished chapter 4 this morning 'cause I was bored and it was a day off from school. Now, it's nighttime and I'm already starting another chapter, thanks to the overwhelming commentary ('cough' kidding 'cough' r/r damn it 'cough'). I could be doing my homework...but that's just a stupid idea, ne? 

The last chapter was completely based on Syaoran's POV...come on! You had to hear the little wolf sometime! And furthermore, I told you there'd be pairings! Well...I'm sitting here, ready to own up. And believe me, there'd be more. I'll try to fit more in, I promise you!

My reviews told me that Eriol ought to make a good component in this fic. Well, he's not for Sakura's taking, that's for sure! Oh, _yessss_...yours truly is going to make darn sure that someone loves Tomoyo while she's gone! And don't think I've forgotten about Touya and Yukito! They'll come in too. Huh? Meilin? Oh, she won't be here in the fic personally, but she will pop up too, for all you Meilin lovers out there... -__- ;

Oh, and as a side note, I took care of the problems in my spelling. My deepest apologies to **Chelle****-sama**...it is, in fact, Tomoyo _Daidouji, _and I have taken the time to go back and correct it in my work. I'm sorry... _; See, I have seen her name spelled as Daijoubi in some places, but there are more where it is spelled this way. I always thought it was kinda weird, but never went back to check. Arigatou! Gotta be more careful next time...

Did I mention r/r or else suffer the consequences? Yeah, I thought that, too...

* * *

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Meilin,_

_ I told you I'd mail you...I won't ever forget that. But this is a very special case._

_ Tomoeda's a comfortable little town, but something is amiss. _

_ Tomoyo has disappeared, Meilin, for a while now...roughly 2 days, but it seems like more. You'd think the same we did before, that it was only a trip, or a formal visit out of town...until Sakura and Rika found what looked to be blood, spilling on the windowsill. Her windowsill..._

_ It was then that everything fell apart. Rika is now prone to nervous breakdowns. She'd taken off the ring on her finger...that glass ring that Tomoyo had given to her for the sake of their friendship. That ring had been obvious, and she showed it to a lot of people before the discovery. Nowadays, whenever anyone mentions the ring or the incident (we had described the situation mildly to outsiders), she'd turn pale and bury her hands in her face...then she'd start to cry uncontrollably. Poor Rika...we know she couldn't help it. Her tension and worry is reflected in her actions, and it upsets us all to see her like this. We had told her to keep a secret about the fact that it was blood, of all things, that we found on the windowsill, not just some special item. She wouldn't speak anyways, but had she been able to let it out, I think she'd be more controlled and more pleasant. We just hope the whole thing would end soon._

_ Sakura's showing symptoms of this as well. Sometimes she'd be staring out the window for minutes at a time, until the teacher would shake her out of her trance. Even when she's talking to me, I've noticed that her eyes lost that familiar light it always had. I think it's mildly a state of depression, and it scares me to think of what Tomoyo's absence is doing to her. They've known each other for so long, and there's only so much I can help Sakura cope with, only so much I can do..._

_ Everything happened so suddenly yesterday. Sakura said Yue carried the news in the morning...her talk with Rika was in the afternoon, the discovery of blood at roughly evening time, my talk with her in the darkness. Then today was just an ordinary day...too ordinary for comfort...in which I found the symptoms of fear and sadness I told you about already. That was enough, all that I could handle...I've even surprised myself, being able to track and write down all this by 3:00p.m. ..._

_ I hope you're reading this, Meilin. I've been a little depressing myself. Is anything happening back at home? Anything you need to do? Because this is an urgent situation, and...if you get the chance, mail me back, or even better..._

_ Maybe you can come back home, to us, to Tomoeda. _

_ Your friend always, Li Syaoran_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sighed.

I've been looking over this letter for days. Taking in the fact that Tomoyo was gone is hard enough, but the fact that they want me back...?

Tomoyo was, in a way, a reliable shoulder for me. It hurt me before, to think that I had no magic within me. After getting to know the girl, the fact that she didn't have magic either was something I identified her by. And yet, with magic or without, she had that beautiful aura around her that made her more than just a costume designer. 

That's the thing I loved about Tomoyo-san. She proved to me that you didn't need magic to be powerful, or to have a strong and brave outlook. All you really need is your heart, your soul, your passion...and your friends.

To be honest, I thought that the costumes, although pretty and cunningly made, were irrelevant to Sakura's card capturing, even less to bringing out that special person in Tomoyo. It was the girl that mattered, not the dresses that she made!

I stared at the clouds rolling by, in my house, my homeland. The birds chirped outside, and the willow trees swayed.

"I'm partial to this land," I thought out loud, "but there's nothing for me here. My place is in Tomoeda, with Li Syaoran. This is a time when they need me most...how can I let them down?"

-

Sakura just returned home. I could hear the shuffling of her slippers, her swinging the heavy backpack onto her bed, her dumping out all her unfinished homework onto her desk. 

Now those were the ordinary sounds around this house, the predictable, everyday sounds. 

The more unusual sounds came from yesterday. 

I was at home...Sakura didn't know I was at first; I always kept my door locked anyway. If I didn't make a sound, she wouldn't suspect a thing. But I heard one of her friends crying - downstairs, it seemed- while the tap ran, and a boy yelling in her room. There were murmurs of discussion, nothing I didn't listen to that day. Even with door closed, I could catch a few words from their quiet conversations..."Tomoyo", "incident", even "blood" a few times. 

I heard only a few words from the upstairs room, namely Sakura's little niche. But when the noise died down upstairs, it secluded the conversation downstairs, which, from that point, I could hear quite clearly. It was a conversation between Syaoran and Sakura. 

Mostly, it was Sakura I heard speaking. It almost freaked me out, how somber she sounded, in the dark of the night, with a quiet and potent edge to her voice like the thunder. I could barely believe that was my Kaijuu, my happy little monster.

Naturally, I managed to sneak downstairs silently, just silently enough to get to a level on which I could see them. 

It was obviously talk about Tomoyo. I winced as that golden bird from the stars struck, that impatient lightning which crumbled Sakura to the ground. The kid...Syaoran, he took one look at that and came running to my little sister. He took her in his arms, told her he'd find Tomoyo. Immediately after he said that, I saw that instant of weakness, of doubt in his eyes. His features were twisted, and I couldn't help but understand...

Sakura said some meaningful things about Tomoyo...her passion, her dedication to her best friend pouring out in one brilliant torrent of emotion. Piecing together the puzzle, I could only guess that Tomoyo is gone, disappeared somehow, and that something one of them saw convinced them that she was in danger, or will never come back. 

That was the way it seemed. I could only guess how big a load that put on Syaoran...he was supposed to be Sakura's little boyfriend, and take care of her. Young love...it drives you crazy with different moods in your head and heart, hurt one moment and angry the next. If I were in his shoes, I would've probably made that same mistake, told Sakura a lie just to comfort her. It could work...but then again, if it topples, you go down with the ship, don't you...

Syaoran was a cute kid...so was Tomoyo, after knowing her for as long as Sakura has. I hope they can find her. Meanwhile, this is a time of vulnerability for Sakura. With her "love" in doubt and her best friend gone, this could certainly be more problematic for her than for anyone else.

Tomoyo has been her support...and mine, too, now that I think about it. She was like...Sakura's moral foundation. Without her, the building that is Sakura would collapse, and with it, my heart would also collapse, I suppose.

I remember the best times...our private conversations.

_Her mauve eyes practically glittered with pride, just staring at her masterpiece. I guess I was proud, too._

_The suit felt velvety to the touch, and its overall impression was a professional one. It was a tuxedo...the outfit was jet black, and Tomoyo's opinion of it was that it matched my eyes and skin tone. Even the tie had been made with her complete and utter expertise. She thought of it as...absolutely stunning, a real treat for the eyes._

_Well...she's the professional. Who am I to argue? _

_"This is amazing," I commented with a smile, admiring her work in the mirror. Yes, I was wearing it...it was the perfect size and everything. I knew my friends (this not including Yukito, of course) would laugh, knowing that I was wearing a tuxedo tailored by an 11-year-old, a friend of my little sister's at that. But Tomoyo's handiwork could be compared to an adults. The won't be able to tell the difference anyway, I figured. So why not wear it with a grin, and dance at the prom like anyone else who spent their pocket money on a suit?_

_Oh! That reminded me! _

_I turned to the dark haired girl. "Tomoyo, how much do you-"_

_Tomoyo merely giggled, cutting me off. Brushing her hair away, she tsked at me. "Oh, Touya-kun! I'm not charging you for the suit! You can have it!" She smiled a dazzling smile. "Thanks for modeling for me! You were perfect! I still have your measures...you're probably not going to grow anymore than you have, so anytime you want me to design for you, just give me a call, okay?" She proceeded to dance out of the room._

_"Tomoyo..."_

_She turned around. "Yep?"_

_"Thanks. I was desperate, you know."_

_Her crystalline giggle tumbled out again. "Anytime, Touya-kun. Oh, and don't tell Sakura about this...I don't want her to think I'm working too hard or anything..."_

The prom night went well. Lots of my friends commented me on the suit, and lots of girls, too. I _was, _in fact, desperate for a suit, because my old ones were worn out already. 

Tomoyo could be such a life-saver. I never did have a friend like her when I was Sakura's age...sure wish I did, though. I was kind of a loner back then...but after a few years of junior high, I met Yukito. He's dependable, and sometimes too sweet, but Tomoyo's innovation is really something else.

Twisting to one side as I laid in bed, I gasped. 

A bleak, white shadow, once standing still, suddenly scraped across my window. 

I rushed to it, only to see that it had flown off...

Was it watching me?

* * *

Sounds very suspicious, doesn't it?

Well, actually, no, but...come on! Cut me some slack here! Wait a few days and I'll be back for another chapter. I hope no one else is still mad at me for spelling Tomoyo's last name wrong. I honestly didn't know! Oh...


	6. My beloved Tomoyo-chan

**In the Absence of Tomoyo, Chapter 6 **By CLAMPraven

By now, you're probably getting bored out of your skull and wondering when this fic would end. To tell you the truth, I think 1 or 2 chapters after this will do the trick. You see, there really is no reason to continue this fic much longer - I'd probably forget the ending myself! Plus, it's useless to drag on if you get the point.

But feedback will still be greatly appreciated. You know me...heehee...

So how do you like it so far? You've heard what Sakura thinks...no matter what, Tomoyo will always be her best friend and she'll never forget it, no matter what had happened to her. And everyone else pretty much feels the same way. Tomoyo isn't useless...not at all. She doesn't get as much attention as she ought to because she doesn't have magic and can't do cool tricks with the cards and strike poses like Sakura could. But what'd you expect? Sakura is the card mistress, and the main character of the series. Tomoyo holds her own pretty well for a girl without fancy magic, and she doesn't even need it...she's pretty and talented, and you'd wonder why she didn't leave Tomoeda and attend CLAMP Campus instead (I think there was another fic I read along those lines). 

Come on...you know why she stays with Tomoeda...because she's dedicated to her friends. Few people would give up success for the sake of others. 

And now you know why Tomoyo is one of the best characters in Card Captor Sakura. (Shrugs) I hope someone reads this. I know I like Tomoyo very much. She's a better friend than anyone else in the series. So, keep reading.

(POV update...the last one was Meilin, then Touya...this fic follows directly after)

* * *

I had flown up to the rooftop. Touya hadn't seen me...I think.

Or, at the most, he had seen a white blur cross his window. I know he had turned in his bed and gasped, so it was obvious he saw something. 

I was on my way to Sakura's window. But then I stopped, got distracted. Touya...there's something about that human that intrigues me...yes, he knew my identity. He had known my identity for a while now, and it would only be a few seconds before he realizes who is onlooker was. Who else could it have been?

And yet I just couldn't help but marvel at him from a distance...it wasn't likeness, I knew that much. It was more like...envy. Amazement. Suspicion, or even fear of getting too close. 

Touya's normal expressions were highly unreadable. I wonder why. It seemed for a while to me that humans became crystal clear once I focus on their eyes, but Touya wasn't like that. No matter how many times I try, I couldn't figure out what he was thinking. 

Sometimes the moonlight helps...sometimes it doesn't. 

But he wasn't like other humans. His calmness and intuition baffled me, shook me off balance in a way. It awed me how he could figure me out and yet I was still confused. He had magic in his veins...that I was almost positive of. Clow Reed didn't create me without a keen sense of the enchantment, and I could feel it inside him much too clearly. But the rest of him was like steel...unbreakable, but able to melt only with his care for Sakura, my master.

He doesn't melt when he sees me, because that's not how it works, really...he doesn't melt in the face of fear. Only in the face of love...

Do I like him at all? Does he like me at all?

Doubtful.

I flew to Sakura's window...

-

I could feel Yue's presence coming closer...

As I opened my eyes, I could see his wings tapping lightly yet urgently on the window. 

I flew to it, struggled with the hinges and it burst loose, letting in a gust of wind that nearly knocked me over. In my conservative stage, that being the stuffed bear imitation, I had a little bit of trouble with windows...

"Is she here, Keroberos?" He whispered, breath tinted with evening frost.

I shook my head. "She went out for a walk. And if I know Sakura, she'll probably be stopping by to check on Tomoyo's house again..."

"I doubt it." The robed body stepped through the window, and into the room. "It would cause her too much pain to return to that sight. Not until Tomoyo shows herself again...which, for all we know, could be never again." He gazed at me intently. "Has your magic been detecting as well lately?"

I winced. "Don't ask! Naoko squeezed the life out of me that one day when they all gathered here...how am I supposed to tell anything?! Gosh, Yue...I'm a guardian, not a miracle worker!!"

It's true. Naoko was a nervous wreak that day...I could feel it in the way she squeezed my belly all that night. I guess my wings are still throbbing...who would've thought she could do that much damage? Thank Clow Reed-sama...Sakura didn't tell her that it was _blood _they found_..._who says teddy bears don't need the ER?

I straightened, feeling a bone or two crack. Ugh... "Why are you really here, Yue?"

I can feel my friend flinch.

I smiled, lightly at first, then turning it into a full smile as I saw his cheeks redden. Heehee... "You can't fool me, Yue. Not when you've come through this much trouble. You've come to talk to Sakura privately...haven't you?"

- 

The cherry blossom petals scattered in the night, framed the indigo skies, the sparkling stars and the crescent moon...it was a beautiful vista laid out before my eyes.

Tomoeda.

After so many months back in England, I knew this was the time to come...home. And no where is more homely than Tomoeda, to be truthful. Especially since I had found a love I could hang on to forever.

Tomoyo. 

I could still reminisce the harsh beating of my heart when I first saw her, with her smooth, silky locks dancing into to the song of the cherry blossoms. She had the look of a dreamer, a believer, because her eyes were crystal clear as she smiled at me and took my hand. I had never seen anyone so delicate, so graceful, so...perfect. I knew I had to have her. I had no doubt in my mind that if I ever told her my true feelings, she would smile again and say the words I had so longed to hear all this time... 

I have my wisdom, my adult-like symptoms of conscience and nobility. But childish love has captured my heart...how could I let it slip away with the wind? 

It was the thing I had dreamed of doing for so long: a heartfelt, emotional confession of my true feelings on a night where illusions and reality sway to motion of the moonbeams...on a night like tonight.

I smiled. 

Somehow, destiny has its ways of playing with couples. I got my lucky break from certain duties, and managed to return...just in time to realize something has happened to my most beloved.

I had my resources, and at one time I almost thought it was real, that some urgent crisis has arose from the depths of this peaceful town, perhaps the only peace I had ever known. 

But then I discovered the truth about my dear Tomoyo-chan's whereabouts, and I almost laughed out loud...seeing as how Sakura and her friends were so anxious. For nothing...hm.

In any case, I cannot keep this little secret to myself. This is why I am here, of all places, sitting atop a maple tree, grinning at the stars and swinging my legs back and forth in silent joy. Despite the quiet, however, I feel as if I should tell someone about this..._unfortunate _misunderstanding, even if it had been great fun to see everyone's reactions. 

It was about time for them all to realize how important my dear Tomoyo was. In a way, I suppose I had wished something like this would happen.

Well, well...Sakura's turning the corner. I'd better sit tight, look mysterious...it's harder than it seems...

-

I gaped.

"_Eriol?!?"_

The boy sitting in the maple tree, the only one on the block, smiled down at me. "It's been a while, Sakura-chan. I thought you'd be here...I've been waiting for you..."

"I was only taking a walk..." I tried to sound casual, but he saw right through it. My confusion was a little too obvious... "Why are you in Tomoeda, Eriol? It's been months since you'd come back...I thought you were gone for good..."

He simply chuckled, still swinging his legs cheerfully. "I told you I'd come back, didn't I?" Letting go of the large branch, Eriol's form easily swung off the treetop and stepped out of the shadows, revealing a face I only ever expected to see in photographs and old memories...ever since he left, that is.

"I would never leave you, Sakura, especially now..." He adjusted his glasses. "And it seems as if I had arrived just in time..."

I gasped. "What do you mean, Eriol?"

Eriol turned his head, started walking...then looked back at me mysteriously. "I know Tomoyo's disappeared."

"You...you do?!?" I stared, then shifted awkwardly on my feet, fumbling. I didn't like to be reminded. 

Every day now, it has haunted me, to the point where nothing would help. My best friend was gone, possibly dead, and I could only lay in bed and wish a miracle would happen and she'd return to me? It's driven me to headaches and nightmares I never thought anyone could have. It was terrible...that's why I came out to walk.

I couldn't just lay in bed...I just couldn't. 

But now Eriol's words disturbed me more. "How did you know about it?" I asked, still stunned.

"I had my resources...as always. But that's not what I came here to tell you." He leaned against yet another tree and smiled yet another calm yet mischievous smile. "You know how I feel about Tomoyo...I had confided in you and you alone, once upon a time."

I nodded. He must mean his love for Tomoyo.

"I remember."

"Good." He stared into the heart of the moonlight, the crescent itself. "Since you remember so well, Sakura-chan, you must also know that there is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for her...this is why these allegations had troubled me, to the point where I had to find her myself...

I listened, eager and excited. Had he done what I couldn't do? What anyone else couldn't do?

Had he managed to find Tomoyo?!?

"I searched all throughout Japan, nitpicking as I went along. After a few days, I sensed her return..."

My eyes widened. I could feel tears coming, where my eyes were tender and already splashed by my sadness days and days before. I couldn't believe it.

The violet-haired boy stopped fiddling, and stared firmly through me. "She will arrive in Tomoeda tomorrow."

!

My heart nearly stopped. My tears were on the verge of spilling into small streams. Yet I didn't mind. Let them spill. Let my tears drown the world...and let me swim in it...

My hands met my face, and I laughed and cried all at once. The waterfall flowed.

This was what happiness felt like. 

"Oh, Eriol...Eriol..." I could only manage, but my distant friend didn't seem to mind. So instead...

I leaped forward and bound my arms around him, feeling my tears stain his shoulders but not caring. He hugged me back...he was happy for me, as he should be.

My face buried in the material of his sleeves, and I laughed again.

_Tomoyo...I doubted you, and I was wrong...now look at me...crying all over Eriol and laughing like an idiot, aren't I?_

_"Tomoyo..." _My voice was cracking over with joy. "_You're coming home...you're coming home...finally, Tomoyo...you're coming back...!!!"_

-

I chuckled softly. "And you doubted her."

Suddenly, Sakura stopped cold. "But wait a second..." she murmured, letting go of me and looking me square in the eye, her tears almost dissolving. 

"If Tomoyo is fine," she spoke slowly and quietly, "...then where in the world did all that blood come from? Rika found blood on her windowsill, and I saw it too...so how...?" Her green eyes were staring into mine, confused.

I could've howled with laughter right then. Of course, I was more controlled and dignified than that...heehee...

I guess my face was giggling without me, because Sakura started looking really annoyed...

"What's going on, really, Eriol?" She asked, slowly losing her patience.

I calmed down...

Took a deep breath...

"Well, see..."

"What's the matter with you today, Eriol-kun?"

I straightened and started to walk away, but not before casting a long, memorable look at Sakura. 

"Let's just say that...the truth isn't what it seems to be..." 

I walked off happily, leaving her to think about my words. I love leaving a last impression...

* * *

Well, that's pretty much it. Eriol sounded kinda weird, didn't he? You'll find out why soon.

Oh, and sorry for not updating for so long. You must be so pissed off...but I finally found enough vacation time to finish the last chapter, which is coming soon! 

(I think. Got multiple projects being worked on at the same time, so don't expect too much. I've been..._procrastinating _lately...


	7. Like a guardian angel

**In the Absence of Tomoyo, Part 7 and FINALE!!! **by CLAMPraven

It looks like I'm getting more feedback than I thought...thanks to everyone who reviewed my fic! I appreciate all of the support, and this is helping me come up with better ideas! 

The last POV's were Yue, Kero, Eriol, and Sakura. And it was a cliffhanger too, that last one! I didn't think anyone would be excited about it, but there is nothing more rewarding than when people are clinging to the edge of their seats waiting for your input. It's really a pleasure.

I'm pretty sure you've all been looking forward to this, the final chapter of my fic. And I'm also pretty sure you've all formed your conclusions about where Tomoyo was all of this time...but I've got to warn you, it's really **not what you would expect.** Sometimes I even thought I should've made it more exciting, so that no one would flame me afterwards. 

So if you're looking for an exciting ending, it wouldn't be the best idea to expect too much.

In fact, if you think this is a life-and-death situation, please go away...

With that said, let's get down to business, shall we? Yes, down to business we go...

(Oh, and as a side note, prepare yourself for fluff as well. This is the chapter where Yue tells Sakura about some personal troubles, so you might want to have something handy for that...)

* * *

I couldn't stop thinking about what Eriol had said. What did he mean by "The truth is not what it seems?" What made him so sure that the blood I found was just a misunderstanding, anyway?

In any case, I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. No matter how mysterious and forlorn Eriol can seem, he doesn't easily tell lies. He wouldn't have told me Tomoyo was coming back if he wasn't 100% sure. And he usually is. His words sink in and they're not easy to forget, either, so I can't shake off the effect of this revelation. 

I've been waiting for so long to see Tomoyo-chan again...it seemed like forever since we've skipped down the same road home after school, talked about what it was like for me as Card Mistress...I missed her so much, and I couldn't control myself when I thought back to those times. 

It's hard to believe that it's only been a few days...

Entering the quiet house, I quickly put on my slippers and skipped upstairs to my room, careful not to disturb anyone. I opened the door...

And gasped.

Yue was standing in the doorway, staring directly at me. _His gaze was like a shimmering moonbeam,_ I thought. Our eyes were locked almost immediately; was he waiting for me?

"Sakura...where were you?"

"Nowhere, really...just took a walk, that's all." I slipped past him and slowly collapsed onto the bed. I was so tired...it must've been late already...I wonder why Yue would come at this hour...? I don't like his glaring presence...not when I'm sleepy like this...

"Sakura..."

"Yeah?" I turned to him.

"Are you still worried about Tomoyo? Because if you still are, you know you still could...talk about it..."

I sat up to face him, the joy of my new discovery returning to me. "Tomoyo's coming back home, Yue."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah. Eriol stopped by in the neighborhood and told me that he found Tomoyo. She isn't hurt, and I'll be able to see her again by tomorrow! Isn't it great?" I had a feeling my smile was stretched from ear to ear when I spoke.

I guess I was so happy, Yue couldn't help but smile as well. It was a pretty smile, and considering I rarely ever see him even smirk, it was embedded in my memory almost automatically...as possibly the brightest thing I'd ever seen. 

"It's wonderful news," he nodded, "and it's about time. I was afraid that you would be upset like this all the time, and you'd go do something horrible to yourself because of it..." He stared at me, his eyes glittering like stars with relief. "That's why I came in the first place, to talk to you about it. But now that Tomoyo's back, I guess I don't have to worry all that much..." 

Spreading his milky white wings, he proceeded to go...

"WAIT!" I suddenly yelled. 

He turned back to me with a confused expression...but it was strange. I could almost see a tint of hope, or gratitude, in the way he glanced.

My eyebrows furrowed. "Is there something you're not telling me, Yue? You've been acting very strange lately...it's not just because of Tomoyo, is it?"

-

I opened one eye in my sleep. _Hehe...now Yue's really in it deep..._I couldn't help thinking.

I wasn't really sleeping. Although I was lying on the desk, my body peaceful, I could hear the conversation between Sakura and Yue quite clearly. Who said Keroberos wasn't attentive?

I could feel Yue's presence waver just a little, but enough for me to tell that he was tense. That was all I needed to know. 

Everyone feels tense sometimes. This was enough to tell me that Yue's feelings were humane despite himself. I had gotten used to feeling tense because of Sakura, especially when her life was in danger. However, Yue's feelings worked a little differently...

He couldn't always control them the way he wants. That was Yue's only real weakness. I just hope he could pull this off. In the darkness, I crossed my wings and prayed.

"Well, Yue? What's wrong?" Sakura asked again, in a commanding tone that nearly made me wince. VERY nearly.

The girl was growing into her role...she could even scare the night guardian now, so naturally the cards took her seriously enough as a card mistress. Sakura in the light of day was easily underestimated, but when she feels strongly enough, she could kick serious butt, and even Clow Reed got off her case. That was the way she was...even I can't predict her. Somehow, she always pulls through with her willpower...

And Yue doesn't stand a chance against willpower like that.

Finally, after another long pause, the night guardian spoke. "I came to talk to you because..."

"Because...?" Sakura's voice had an edge of desperation.

"Because we're growing distant...too distant. And I want to change that." 

Neither of them spoke for a while. Even in the darkness of the night, Yue's eyes were alive and aglow. He sat down on the edge of Sakura's bed; it reminded me of when this whole crazy mess started...right when he first told Sakura that Tomoyo was gone...the only difference was that this time, the guardian was brave enough to say what he feels for real.

"This incident had made me think..." he continued quietly, "...we've now fully realized how valuable Tomoyo has been to us, and I love her too, even though some things do tend to go unsaid. And you would never know it, but despite that, in the depths of my heart...I will always envy her, just a little."

Sakura nodded, intensely interested in his words.

"I always wished I could be as close to you as Daidouji Tomoyo is. She understood all your pains. She had your trust and you can always confide in her. More than once had I wished I could be like that. When she first disappeared, my thoughts were to find her for you, no matter what. After all, you valued her so much, it would've hurt you so much if anything happened to her; in turn, it hurts me as well.

"But after a while, I could only think of my own emotions, and how I've always wanted to be closer to you. I started wondering if I could take advantage of the situation. They were selfish thoughts that I never liked, but they took over in the end the way I never thought they could. 

"What you see in front of you, Sakura..." he paused, "...is only the defensive exterior.

"In truth, I had never felt very many emotions...they confuse me and I couldn't master them if my life depended on it. I've often tried to tell you that I wish to be more dependable, but there was still that tough shell of mine that holds me back. I was almost always at a loss for words, so I say very little. I'm sure you've noticed that. 

"You're like a daughter to me, Sakura. Even though I know I'm probably the last person you'd turn to for emotional aid or confidence. To be honest, it scares me how silent and engulfed by darkness I had become. I don't really want to be like this, I really don't. But I can't help it. Tonight I felt a little more bold, so I'll say it while I still have the nerve:

"I love you, Sakura, as much as any other friend. Understand that no matter how silent or cold I can seem, there is never an end to how much I care for you. When you hurt, I hurt. I've always felt that, but recently I had been thinking about it more often, and it had taken over me. You might think I'm too proud and too icy to care, but that's not always true...I'll be there for you, Sakura, if you need me at all. 

"I know you have Syaoran, Tomoyo, Keroberos, Yukito, even Touya...it always seems like I'm the antagonist, but do remember that I do hold feelings for you. My life is lived to serve you for as long as I can, Sakura, and that is my only real purpose. It is something I'm proud of. So when you need a helping hand, I can be there for you. I..." Here he stopped, unable to go on...

_Come on, Sakura! _I thought. _Respond, or something!!!_

In the shadows of the night, Sakura's lips widened into a sympathetic smile. "Why didn't you ever tell me before, Yue? We were never really drifting apart. I never doubted you. I know you feel for me, no matter what. And I appreciate the talk." She grasped his hand.

Yue could only smile back pitifully. "That was a first."

"But you did really well! You practically poured your heart out!" Sakura pointed out excitedly. "I wish you could've seen yourself! Better yet, I wish Tomoyo could've seen you just now! She would've given you a standing ovation!"

Yue blinked, then chuckled. "I suppose we'll have to tell her the next morning, won't we?"

In the darkness, I couldn't help but smirk, too. _Yesssss...._

"Hey! KERO!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!" I screamed, blowing my cover.

"Keroberos, you were awake?!?" Yue was glaring at me full force.

"HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR, KERO?!?"

"Uh oh..." I fumbled. Not good...!!

-

It was a bright and beautiful morning. 

The night has passed, and it had been great. But now my place is in Tomoeda, and nowhere else needs me most.

"Tomoyo!" My mother shouted from up front. "You okay back there?"

"I'm fine, mother," I answered politely.

"We've been driving for hours, Tomoyo dear. I'm sorry. This limousine could be so stuffy sometimes. I know _I'm_ tired. But we'll be home soon. Just hang on for about another half an hour." Finished with her check-up and apologies, Sonomi's attention was on the road again.

My bodyguards got the past few days off, while Mother and I traveled in our limousine. But I can't say I regretted it. Sometimes I hate the attention the four of them radiate on me. Although it was comforting to have them around sometimes, it could also be really embarrassing. So mother gave them a vacation...they have lives, too, after all.

It was somewhere in the middle of the drive that I realized I never told Sakura or the others about going. It was a split-second decision Sonomi made a few days ago, so I didn't have time. It was something my mother always dreamt of doing, to go to the coast docks, to see the ocean, not to mention go on a cruise in the great yacht that she had heard about on television. 

I wasn't so excited. If she wanted a yacht, she could easily buy it. But Mom was determined to see it for real.

It was a round trip luxury yacht that went off the shores of Japan. So technically, for a little while, I wasn't in Japan. But it didn't feel any different. Home was still pretty close while I dined like royalty and talked with officials from the all-prestigious CLAMP school. 

I regret not being able to tell Sakura about my going. But I figured she wouldn't worry much. After all, it was only a small road trip...no big deal. It was a lot of fun for me, and Sakura-chan doesn't have to fuss. 

But I'll bet she'd love to hear what happened during this little vacation of mine. Considering it was only Mother and myself, it was quite exciting.

The second thing I forgot was to clean up that leaky mess I made on the windowsill. I wish I could've had time to clean that up, too. It looks so much like real blood that it was freaky; not all imitation blood paints were like that. I'd have to remind myself to buy more. It is just runny enough to make a ghastly painting, and plus it smelled like blood, too, so you couldn't even tell! 

Ever since picking up a canvas, I had wanted to use it. But I guess I was never in the mood for a haunting masterpiece. But Sonomi's right. That's no reason to wander around the house with it and make a spill on the windowsill, of all things.

I hope Sakura and the others didn't see that and get worried, I mused, giggling to myself. She could worry and have an accident.

Sakura-chan and the others probably didn't worry about me, though. It's not like I'm THAT precious...I should stop faking myself. She may be my best friend, but she's also got Syaoran, who's growing into a fine young man now. And then there are Keroberos and Yue. I have a feeling Meilin's going to come back to our quiet little town. Eriol isn't so far away, either, and Clow Reed, as well as Kaho Mitsuki, are probably watching her from beyond...

She doesn't need me all that much. But I'll always be there for her and the others, because whether they can handle themselves or not, I'll stand by them forever. I'll mend them and heal them like a guardian angel, to the best of my ability. I'll dedicate my life to my friends. Seeing them smile alone is reward enough for me.

Cherry blossom trees are passing by us in pink flashes. _Finally, _I thought happily. _Tomoeda._

_I'm coming home, Sakura-chan. Hope you missed me._

_~End~_


End file.
